Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Desperate Irish Housewives and the Like

DesperateIrishHousewife.blogspot.com

So a buddy of mine forwards this to me for the obvious reasons that;


  • I am Irish
  • She is desperate
  • And who is to be bigoted or so judgmental against housewives?
But here’s the thing.

When I clicked on the profile in an attempt to mayhaps see a picture (only to be let down) I find out that in the short 8 months she’s been blogging, she’s had almost as many profile views as I have in my now approaching 2 and ½ years on the internet.

Now let us be frank.

She has nowhere near the amount of posts I’ve had.
She has no charts.
And we all know that if you don’t have charts, well then, what do you have?

But why does she have all these hits?

The answer is simple my fellow bloggoteers.

She has the "magic formula" for what I consider is necessary for an instantaneous successful blog.

She is;


  1. Female
  2. Of the conservative/freemarket/libertarian faith
  3. A blogger
These three traits alone practically guarantee you instant notoriety in the blogging world regardless of how few charts you have.

This is not to belittle or criticize those female bloggers out there who are of the free-market mind, actually, we applaud you. But that is just my point.

It’s no big whoop if whiteboy Joe Schmoe blogs about the evils of socialism. Some nerdy accountant in his basement ranting away because no main stream media outlet will broadcast his views.

But if it’s a girl, ESPECIALLY THE RARE AND SEEMINGLY IMPOSSIBLE TO EXIST PRO-CAPITALISM GIRL,

Well, that’s just plain freaking hot!

It’s no different than that one girl who fell into company with the dungeons and dragons crowd back in high school. You know, the tomboy that was smarter than the average girl and thusly couldn’t nor wouldn’t conform to the cheerleading dictum, and thus she hung out with you schlepps even though she was the center of constant ill-aimed attempts to get her to go to prom with you.

THAT’S THE FEMALE BLOGGER!

And just like a chaotic neutral wizard with a charisma +13, she’s irresistible.

Don’t believe me? Just look at these female blogger babes. They are rare as those high school dames that learned how to play War Hammer or could throw down a mean game of Halo;

Girl on the Right
http://www.girlontheright.com/
American, conservative, female, and a cutie.

Kate the Canadian
http://www.smalldeadanimals.com/
Canadian, conservative, female, drives motorcycles and hot

Michelle Malkin.
http://michellemalkin.com/
American, Conservative, female and HOT HOT HOT!...and married, DAMNIT!!!!

Jacqueline Passey
http://jacquelinepassey.blogs.com/
And economist, a Libertarian and since she’s got a new picture, hot.

Jane Galt
http://www.janegalt.net/
A writer for The Economist, blogger, ardent free-marketer, and while she doesn’t have a picture up, no doubt she is probably hot too. Actually she could be repulsive, but with the above accreditation she’s still hot.

And I think each of them get something like 40 billion hits per day or something like that. True, honest to God. 40 billion...on a bad day.

Now logic would dictate that to start a successful blog then, all one has to do is POSE as an attractive female who is a conservative or libertarian. Get a picture of a willing attractive female accomplice. Lay down some mean economic rhymes (and charts of course too! Don’t forget the charts!) and BOOM!

Insto-Sucessful blog!

Of course that would mean stringing along millions of poor nerdy econo-poli-type men in their basements. Leading them on to think that there are women out there who are not only conservative/libertarian/pro-capitalist, but also intelligent and attractive…

Actually, I don’t think anybody is going to fall for something THAT outlandish.

8 comments:

Captain Capitalism said...

See, and look how you've blossomed!

DRAT! Everything I come up with has already been thought of!

Alfred T. Mahan said...

If you were half the nerd you think you are, you'd know it's Warhammer (all one word).

Moreover, you and charts! From the Web, no doubt, that font of all wisdom...*sniffs* To quote from The Tick (again showing my nerdly superiority over you), "READ A BOOK!!!"

See, they ALSO have charts and things in them. With pictures, so you can sit and stare while actual intellectuals/nerds analyze actual data... :P

Anonymous said...

Not a good day, Captain.

RightGirl said...

I never played video games or role playing (outside the bedroom), and I'm Canadian, but other than that, thanks!

RG

Captain Capitalism said...

Geez! What's with all the Canadian capitalists? I'm going to have to move north.

Captain Capitalism said...

Well, we could try to pull of kind of an economics versus of D&D. I'd fight the evil wizard economist, Paul Krguman. The white wizard, Greenspan, etc. etc.

Although, I'v ebeen half tempted to go to Game Stop and buy all the Final Fnatasy's and replay those.

Chicks dug me back in 1991.

Anonymous said...

You have a very "interesting" view of who's hot. Did you even look at some of these women's other photos besides the main "glamor shot" ones they posted?

Anonymous said...

Personally I find obscurity aesthetically pleasing. But then, I live with an incredibly hot woman who runs a Warhammer FRP game, so maybe that’s a factor. Although I’ll admit, after reading Small Dead Animals for the first time today I’d happily go down on Kate given half the chance.

P.S. I’m really a pouting blonde in her early twenties with gravity defying breasts, just don’t tell anyone…