Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Chicks Dig Guns

I was dating a girl a while ago. Typical late 20 something girl who towed the liberal line and said all the right things and thought the right way. She came into my house for the first time and saw my pistol which I keep on my desk next to my computer. I was in the kitchen when she said in a shocked voice,

"Is this your gun!?"

"Yep." I said.

"Is it real?"

"Yep." I said.

"Well why do you have it?"

"In case I need to shoot the bad guys."

"Well, I'm not comfortable with guns."

"Then don't pick it up. Besides which you don't have to worry about anything. You're not one of the bad guys."

"Well I just don't understand why you would need a gun though."

"As I said before, it's in case I need to shoot the bad guys."

"Well what kind of bad guys are here? I mean have you ever had to use it?"

"Almost once, but otherwise no, thankfully."

The conversation continued on and it was typically typical of somebody who's never thought about guns and just regurgitates the line they're fed vs. somebody who likes to ensure his life and freedom is guaranteed by a little more than some piece of paper located in Washington, D.C. The typical naivete of a person who never suffered strife and was not capable of realizing the merits of owning a gun for protective purposes AND had also never studied history, arguing against somebody who had the slightest bit of common sense and was fully aware of history.

I had finished pouring myself a martini when I walked back into my office and saw her holding the gun. She was holding it in extreme fear, but obviously curiosity had gotten the better of her.
I extended my hand, signaling her to give it to me. Like carrying a bubonic-plague-infested dead mouse by its tail, she handed it over. I dropped the magazine out of the handle, doubled checked to make sure the chamber was empty, flipped it around in palm of my hand so the handle was facing her saying, "Here, knock yourself out. It can't hurt you now."

"It won't go off?"

I shook the magazine in my hand as I turned my attention back to my martini, "Not without this."

And in what had to be no more than 30 seconds, she said, "this is pretty cool! I should get a gun!"

I was rolling my eyes over as I was sipping my martini.

First let me state that chicks like guns.

I don't care who they are. What they tell you. What they say they think they say they believe they think they say.

Chicks

like

guns.

You put one in their hand, get them used to it, and even if they're a peacenik they all of the sudden are no longer irrationally afraid of this piece of metal. And not only are they no longer afraid, they want to try and shoot one. Makes for a great date, or just a good time with friends of the female persuasion, or anybody of any persuasion. I have never known anybody NOT to like firing guns.

Second, it shows you just how shallow some people's political and ideological beliefs are. It would be like going to an atheist, who after 5 minutes of arguing with you about how Christianity is stupid, all of the sudden after holding a bible for 30 seconds wants to go to church. Of course, guns are way more fun than bibles, but you get my point.

Finally, she couldn't help but look in the mirror because of how the gun looked. Do not be confused. A man with a gun is more attractive than a man with out one. Just look at any action flick movie poster and sure enough the hero is carrying a gun. Doesn't have to be a huge M-60 Rambo gun, but James Bond with his little pea-shooter is enough. Why do they put it there? Because Hollywood marketers know a guy with a gun who has to go hunt down the bad guy/s is more attractive than a peacenik who tries to go and talk to the bad guys into hopefully seeing his side of the situation and resolving the conflict peacefully with a little help from the UN and Jimmy Carter.

Therefore Cappy Capites of both the male and female persuasion, IF YOU DON'T HAVE KIDS and DON'T HAVE KIDS WALKING INTO YOUR HOUSE ON A REGULAR BASIS, may I suggest leaving a semi-automatic pistol in a very Peter Gunn sort of way hanging about your abode?

I know gun safety nuts will go into hyperdrive and say, "how dare you leave a loaded gun in your house laying around for untrained people to accidentally grab, pull back the hammer and then accidentally pull the trigger!"

Set that legitimate criticism aside. I'm making a point aside that.

A pistol, laying on your desk or on in the holster hung up on the door is akin to leaving something unique about you that women do indeed notice and will probably find attractive. For example, a nice pair of jeans hanging over the chair (ex-girlfriend told me about that one). A tie hanging on the doorknob. A martini glass on the coffee table. A motorcycle jacket over the chair. A Ty Wilson painting on the wall. A friend of mine even suggested an issue of Playboy laying about (which suggests a bit of bravado and confidence on your part, on account you are not worried about being perceived as a perve). A gun achieves the same, but because of its lefty-MSM-induced "forbidden nature" it's even more so. You are a bad boy. You have a gun. Something that can take a man's life away (or if you're good enough, multiple people).

Combine these bad boy aspects society places on guns with the natural, biological, darwinian implications of gun ownership and you are showing the girl that you take survival, protection and providership seriously. No man (or woman) is going to hurt you or your family. You are not messing around. By leaving that piece of metal on your desk you are not only a bad boy, but a bad boy that will fight. And it is this, no matter what they might say otherwise, is ultimately sexy.

Yes, slightly dangerous, but oh, wait, dangerous is also sexy too.

So to re"Cap" (har har har!)

Gun = bad boy + defender/protector + dangerous + forbidden = Sexy.

Am I wrong here? The formula missing something?

26 comments:

Liberista said...

i used to own guns in italy. i had a Franchi SPAS 12, which is a work of art. is quite common, in italy, to celebrate new years eve with firecrackers, but why waste money on those things when you have a SPAS 12, several boxes of shells, and a big garden?
so at midnight we go out and open fire at a collection of empty cans and such.
i load a few rounds and hand the gun over to a girl who was attending the party.
she started screaming in horror that she was soooo afraid and could never shoot a gun.
i insistes and finally convinced her to tru. the stock was folded and she fired from the hip. the recoil almost knocked her down, she straightened up, chambered another round (it was set for pump action) and shoot again, reload, shoot, reload, shoot, reload shoot, till she ran out of ammo. she asked for more.
girls...

Captain Capitalism said...

Heh, what did she weigh to get knocked on her tuckas?

GW South said...

Dated a girl in college, Jewish girl from New Jersey who was Liberal, very anti-gun and had never been in a house where someone owned one. She came down with me to an Alabama football game in Tuscaloosa for a long weekend, and one night we stayed with my aunt and uncle who live out in the boonies in Alabama. Obviously he has about 15 guns, only one of which I think is registered. I tell her I'm going to go and do some target shooting with him in the back 'yard' (about 30 acres), but she can stay in and watch TV with my aunt since she's against guns.

Obviously she came out and had the time of her life shooting first a pistol, then a .22, then a 12 gauge, and to top it off, fired off a round from a .306. She was a little less anti-gun after that whole experience

Econmom said...

You are correct!

Orphan Wilde said...

Gun = bad boy + defender/protector + dangerous + forbidden = Sexy

I think the part in the middle might be inaccurate; after all, come on. A girl who owns a gun? That's crazy sexy.

(My girlfriend does not merely own a gun, she's a better shot than me, and that's saying something.)

I think the appeal goes both ways, although you're right that a gun date is an excellent opening date.

DubTee said...

My fiancée has shot far bigger guns than I have, courtesy of a friend of hers that owns a few assault rifles. I have a S&W .357 that she insists stay next to the bed, although she's not comfortable shooting it (it's a pretty big gun). We're planning on buying her a smaller 9mm or .38 after we get married, she wants her own guns.

Anonymous said...

Guns do decorate a room.

Joey Bennett said...

It is very true that women and guns are gaining momentum. Remember that it is not always as easy as point and shoot. If you have a gun, it is important to make sure that you know how to use and to practice. Happy shooting!

Joey Bennett said...

It is very true that women and guns are gaining momentum. Remember that it is not always as easy as point and shoot. If you have a gun, it is important to make sure that you know how to use and to practice. Happy shooting!

reg said...

i don't understand why so many women are opposed to gun ownership,after all they are the equalizer between the (physically) strong and the weak.a 5'90lb'er can drop a 6'4"240lb gorilla with a gun. hasn't got a chance unarmed.

Anonymous said...

I think the biggest thing is fear of the unknown. After all the media blasts all these stories of guns "accidentally going off", when in reality they don't accidentally go off - people accidentally press the trigger.

Once they see this, and try it out for themselves, getting comfortable with the gun, it's a freakin' blast.

I know ... I am one :)

Anonymous said...

This is only news to a Yankee.

Yankee women find this sexy because they long for a real man and have yet to spend time with one.

It awakens feelings in them they did not know that could have.

Bram said...

Got off a flight back from the Gulf War in Maine. We U.S. Marines still wearing desert cammies and carrying our weapons. There were a bunch of college girls there.

Wow did they love the testosterone and machine guns!

EarlW said...

Time to take my family to the range!

FYI: It's 'toed the line', as in toes on feet ;-)

Elizabeth said...

I agree with Anonymous (at 11:18): it's just fear of the unknown.

Brian Dunbar said...

Gun = bad boy + defender/protector + dangerous + forbidden = Sexy.

Noticed something similar when I was enlisted. Despite the attitude, the funny haircuts, the sometimes less-than-handsome faces, if you were a Marine it was pretty easy to get a date, once you got away from the towns near base.

Unknown said...

Confidence is the factor left out here. That is both an attractive trait in a guy to chicks and a common effect on the person with a gun in their possession. Mix a sense of humor in with that confidence and add to guns = sexy and you have a very very attractive guy.
imho

Woodporter said...

"... I mean have you ever had to use it?"

"Almost once, but otherwise no, thankfully."

Captain, do tell us more. There must be a good story here.

Anonymous said...

Check this out ... more evidence

http://tinyurl.com/2v4e8d9

The Phantom said...

Just make sure she doesn't shoot you in the ass by accident dude. Chamber empty!

Other than that obvious bit of safety nazism, hell yeah chicks love guns. And motorcycles. And dogs.

You got a gun, a bike and a golden retriever,you'll be busy. :)

You're also 100% right about how weakly held most liberal beliefs are. Ten minutes at the gun shop looking at the Desert Eagle .50AE, most of these anti-gun weenies are reaching for their Visa card.

kanadienkyle said...

Just one more comment to corroborate the general feeling here. My wife is from a very liberal, very anti-gun family. I am from a hunting family in Canada. Naturally we took my wife to Canada, took her out shooting and she is now the proud owner of a 4 guns and shopping for a 4th.

Her family remains aghast.

Colin said...

Nice gun leather is a good place to keep a gun. I have kids so it's either on my hip or in the safe. New safes have biometrics and are very quick to open.

Girls and anti's are easily converted with .22cal and then they can move up to bigger calibres. 22cal is just a whole lot of fun.

Anonymous said...

I'm a pistol packin' papa
And when I walk down the street
You can hear those mamas shoutin'
Don't turn your gun on me.

Now girls, I'm just a good guy
I'm going to have my fun
Just follow me and you will hear
the barking of my gun.

The holdup men all know me
And they sure leave me be
I'm a pistol packin papa
And I ramble where I please

Jimmie Rodgers

Anonymous said...

Chicks dig power. It's logical they love guns and the guys who carry them.

It's true of any weapon BTW. I regularly carry an Opinel knife mostly to cut and peel fruit. It's a simple knife, but it has impressed girls.

Anonymous said...

my wife was from England and knew nothing about guns other than they were bad. Started her off with a 22 single shot
moved to a black powder muzzle loading rife, big, heavy smoky
she loved it
she has a 45 cal southern mountain rifle now in percussion.

Sarah said...

Now a days women are also taking interest in Guns collection and also taking part in shooting competition.